She had to battle through a lot in this story, and I think she dealt with it the best way she could. Some readers may have got frustrated with Autumn’s decisions, but if I were in her shoes I don’t think I would have done it any other way. It gave a better understanding into Autumn’s character, and a connection between her in a deep and meaningful way. The stories were timed right as to show their significance into why that memory had a specific impact to why Autumn was the way she was today. But I thought these alternating changes in the time span worked wonderfully. The Story is told with flash backs into Autumn’s and Finn’s memories when they were younger alongside Autumn’s current progression in school, some readers may find confusing.

What would have happened if Autumn and Finn didn’t grow apart? Would things have been different now? It’s these constant thoughts that Autumn can’t shut away. At first it’s like a niggling at the back of her mind, which she continues to throw away and just focus on the good things happening in her life at the moment, but the further she goes through school and seeing Finn all the time bring several feelings of anger, betrayal, love, and loneliness which are continuously eating away at her until it all becomes too much. Despite having a great set of friends and boyfriend in Jamie, Autumn’s regret over the loss of her friendship with Finn is clearly apparent. Also they hung out with friends who were on opposite sides of the spectrum to one another, so were seen to never mix or interact with one another. Despite their mothers being best friends, and being neighbours, there was always that awkward tension between them when they spent “family time” together.

Autumn and Finn had been best friends forever, they did everything together, until middle school, that they fell apart for some reason or another. If He Had Been With Me deals with the story of what ifs. So it came as no surprise that when the ending did finally come, I found myself choked up all over again. Despite knowing this I continually tried to bury this awful fact at the back of my mind, I kept trying to make myself believe that the author would change the course of the story and that maybe she was just playing with us.

The story opens with the most heart breaking chapter, it gives you an insight into how things end. It was a story which I knew how would end, but I was utterly mesmerised into reading because of the beautiful heart rendering prose.

It’s a story which deals with issues of friendship, first loves and family in the most raw and intense way I have come across in a long time. If He Had Been With Me was a poignant story which I devoured in one sitting.

If i had told her laura nowlin